Finding Right Companionship    
December 2004

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    “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”(Revelation 3: 20).

    “God setteth the solitary in families:”( Psalms 68: 6 to :)

    “Trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path.”(Proverbs 3: 5, 6).

    “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”(Matthew 21: 22).

    The Christmas Season, like almost no other time of the year, brings out the enjoyment of, and longing for, right companionship. Being alone, without good friends or family around us, can often make the holidays an unhappy time. And single individuals who are seeking a right companion or mate might feel especially lonely at this time of year. Yet, regardless of what type of companionship we may be seeking, finding the right person to share the holiday season (or any time) can seem increasingly impossible in the sea of identities covering this world. There might be someone “out there” just waiting for us—but that's of little comfort if one doesn't know where to look!

    Many services have sprung up recently, trying to play match-maker, simply because people really do have such a difficult time finding each other. The Internet now provides, for both the young and old, almost endless chat rooms and services to help discover one's right match; but still the infinite wisdom required for such a match-up often eludes these types of human services, even when they're based on so-called scientific methods.

    So what is the spiritual way of finding someone 'out there' in the great somewhere? The first part of that answer can be rather obvious: merely ask God, Spirit, the all-knowing, all-seeing Intelligence, to find who you need, and bring him or her into your life, as soon as possible. After all, who knows each and every one of us better than the Creator? So, who would know our best partner at a certain point in our human lives?

    But asking God, or turning to divine Spirit, is the first and easiest part. Asking is simple. It's the second part of this turning to God (for our supply of all good) that is more difficult: for, as soon as we ask our loving Father/Mother to fill some human need, we are required to believe that the infinite One has already filled the need. (This is called trust.) Otherwise, we ask in vain. Asking for something in vain means that we ask it to no avail. We don't expect a result. We think it will come to naught. This type of asking-in-vain goes on all over the world; we Christians are really good at it. Asking in vain actually breaks one of the original Ten Commandments of the Old Testament days, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless, that taketh his name in vain.”(Exodus 20: 7).

    Now, I probably thought that that his particular commandment means that we aren't supposed to swear, or use any term for God to express anger and hatred. And it certainly is part of our sincere honor toward God, I believe, not to bandy about God's name in such a disrespectful manner. But most of the commandments have deeper meanings, and we must dig beneath the surface level to glimpse their deeper meanings—the blessings of which can enrich our lives. In this case, I think the commandment means, 'Don't bother to call on the infinite power of divine Spirit, if you really don't believe in it anyway.' Or, stated another way, 'Don't ask for God's love and attention, if you don't think the Almighty is capable, or willing, to give it.'

    The infinite Intelligence, Wisdom, Love, Law, and Purpose of the Creator is not always acknowledged in our concepts of God. If our concept of deity is that of a sometimes-nice, sometimes-mean, but usually an impotent, invisible being that is mainly irrelevant to this material, human experience we're trapped in, then there's little point in approaching that being for anything. Since we aren't trying to perceive the spiritual reality of the universe and our own place in it, then calling about some limited concept of God makes little sense, and even lesser hope. Why call upon the Almighty for some provision, if we aren't going to wait and expect it to happen? That's like a hungry person holding out his hand to others for a sandwich, and then dropping his arm, turning away, never seeing the sandwich fall to the ground behind him—because he really didn't think anyone was going to give it to him anyway!

    So, let's examine some of the common, negative thoughts that come to us when turning to God on the subject of companionship. Let's take the example of wanting a marriage partner. First of all, we immediately wonder, does God want us to have a partner? Maybe I'm supposed to be alone all my life. Maybe I've done something wrong in a past life that I'm being punished for. Maybe there's really no one out there who wants me, or can stand me. Oh my gosh!...maybe even God can't find someone for me! Or, maybe if God does send someone into my experience, I won't like him (or her). Does God know what I want in a partner? Do I deserve anything from God? I don't think I've done anything good lately, so God may not be too pleased with me right now!

    These thoughts come to us, because we don't have a sense of our divine Creator's love for us. We haven't been raised to expect divine help in this life. We're sincerely not sure that God intends for us to have a mate, because we really don't know God's mind and purpose on any subject. Reading the words of Christ Jesus, however, can often wipe out some of these negative thoughts we have. For example, Christ Jesus once made these references to God's willingness to be our source of all supply: “Fear not little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”(Luke 12: 32). “Or what man is there of you, if whom his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or is he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7: 9-11).

    Now, it's because our own understanding of spiritual things is so murky, that the trust which must accompany any request to God, doesn't make sense to us. We don't mentally see that this conscious state of mind, called trust or believing, is a part of the actual demonstration of bringing God's spiritual power into the seeming material realm. Experience has taught me that, in order for trust to develop in our behavior pattern, we must view trust-in-God as more than something which just pleases deity. God actually isn't requiring the trust from us; it isn't a matter of God watching to see if we trust Him, before he decides to give us what we need. In spiritual actuality, God has already given us all. Creation is done, and it is whole, perfect, and eternal. No lack or need can arise in spiritual creation. This can be a hard concept to grasp, so let's examine it further.

    Having God at the center of our being, we are whole and without lack of any good thing, throughout eternity. Our oneness with the infinite Creator, within our own spiritual Selfhood, means that we are also one with all creation. Nothing has been withheld; nothing is being withheld from us. But in our material belief-state, we don't perceive any of this. In our physical form, we seemed to be separated from every thing and every one. We simply don't perceive our spiritual essence of body, soul, and mind. We don't perceive the spiritual universe or kingdom of God. We can't see our spiritual abundance and perfection.

    This false sense of separation from God and the kingdom of God within, is the very core of loneliness. It's also the very core of lack, when everything and everyone seems to be 'out there' instead of within our presence and consciousness. We think God is withholding good from us, and we have to beg and plead for it. What actually happens, however, is that the trust in God's eternal care, which we are required to express, is actually the removal, from our minds, of the false (material) sense of lack that is blocking our fulfillment of some human need. Once this false sense is removed, from our own consciousness, the Spirit within is free to direct us (call our attention) to the thing, or person, we need.

    Let's go a bit deeper. To prove God's harmonious purposes for our lives, and to rely on divine Spirit alone to meet all our needs, it helps to understand, in some measure, how spiritual forces operate, so that they don't seem unattainable or too other-worldly. Understanding spiritual realities results in the faith in these principles, which we need to heal our discordant situations. Thus, on this material plane of existence, to find any right thing, or any right one, requires standing back and taking a much broader view of things—a more spiritual view. Companionship is just one of the myriad human needs we search for in our lives, and so it's better to see the divine principles that underlie all such searches; namely, the principles of omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence; in short, the principles of Spirit's allness, which dwells within our very being, as the Source of fulfilling all our needs. So, (for those who wish to see how spiritual enlightenment relates to finding a right mate or other companion) let's peel back the layers even more.

    Omnipresence, for example, has a lofty sound to it, but it's actually one of the spiritual facts of our own existence. So is omniscience and omnipotence. God is infinite Spirit, with no elements of matter. This infinite Spirit is the divine Intelligence of the universe. God is omnipresent (everywhere present) but also omniscient (all-knowing intelligence) and omnipotent (only cause, lawmaker and creator). These three realities of God's being, omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence, belong to each of us in our spiritual identity. We, individually, express all of the divine qualities as part of our being because we are the image, off-spring, and reflection of God. But it is God's omnipresence, God's omniscience, and God's omnipotence that we live to express from within our own being—not our own. Everything God has becomes our own to use. We live within the divine Kingdom and Intelligence of God. “For in him we live, and move, and have our being...For we are also his offspring.” (Acts 17:28). Not only are we within God's infinite kingdom and being, the kingdom is within us; within our true conscious awareness. This allows us to express the all-seeing and all-knowing qualities of God, as well as the power of God's spiritual laws working on our behalf, when needed, such as finding the people who are also meant to find us (which must be the case for God's harmony to be operating).

    Here's an illustration: when I was a new student of spiritual healing and metaphysics, I saw how omnipresence (all-seeing) and omniscience(all-knowing) works in the human condition. I was in a large bookstore, trying to find a book that might help me on a certain subject. But there I stood, overwhelmed by the thousands of titles on the shelves, not knowing what was inside any of the books. (My limited human sense of sight didn't have superman's x-ray vision.) How could I possibly know what might be just the book I needed? So, I asked the divine consciousness, the Christ Consciousness within me, to come forward and help me. Suddenly, the word omnipresence sprung into my thoughts. I wondered why. God was omnipresent, but I wasn't. I was standing in one, limited spot, trying to find a book I needed. Was I to just trust God's omnipresence?

    The answer came, in thought, that I was to learn to use my own, spiritual omnipresence, already given to me by my divine Father/Mother. Each child of God is at one with God's omnipresence, omniscience and omnipotence. So, I continued to reason that, if I was really spiritual, having the qualities of God such as omnipresence and omniscience, then my spiritual self already saw and knew what was in all these books. My Christ identity (spiritual self) did have God-given omnipresence and omniscience. It was the all-seeing, all-knowing mind, already within me, and always with me.

    These thoughts began to sink in. I could see that, humanly speaking, (where we depend upon the physical senses for all perception) we seem to be limited in how far our physical eyes can see, and how far our physical ears can hear. But to the infinite spiritual identity of each of us, no such limitations of distance or blockages occur. As the Christ-self, I already perceived what was in all the books in the store, and thus, my true self already knew which one book, of all the books, had exactly what I needed. Now, that didn't mean I humanly knew these things; but my spiritual identity did know and could call my human attention where it needed to go.

    Immediately, my attention was drawn to a shelf off to the right of where I was standing. I approached this bookshelf and the word “Free” stood out to me from a title of one book. I reached for the book and opened it to the contents. Right there, in the third or fourth chapter, was a description of everything I needed. It was perfect.

    Now, let me go into detail about how this worked: My human sense of sight and knowledge didn't really increase—I didn't suddenly, mentally, know or see what was inside all the books in the store. Instead, my spiritual self, which did know and see all, called to my human attention and material sense of sight, the material thing (book) that filled my human need. This was the divine Intelligence within, highlighting with a nudge to turn right, and a sudden attraction to the word “free” that helped me find what was hidden from my limited material sense of self, but known to my true, spiritual Self. The Christ-self within, at one with God's omnipresence, showed the way. Christ Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life:” (John 14: 6). Isn't it probable that he was saying that putting on the Christ identity is the way, truth and eternal life for each one of us to prove for ourself right here, even where we seem to be such limited, material mortals?

    So, this illustrates how God, divine Spirit, fills the need for 'finding' things or people in the human scene. Spirit is conscious of every one and every concept of creation, forever. God can't lose anyone, nor can anyone hide from the infinite Sight. And this infinite Sight is within us; it never left us, nor have we left it. Spirit is God's own being, including the divine, creative Intelligence, which has produced all...all things, concepts, identities. This divine Intelligence always knows where everything and everyone is spiritually, since all things and identities created exist only in this infinite Intelligence that created it.

    To us struggling with a limited sense of things, (material forms) these things appear physically. We lose physical things all the time. But God knows and sees their spiritual essence. He knows the spiritual essence of every material person walking around. And finding the right thing out of many, like finding the right book out of many, should be left to this divine Mind alone; for only such an infinite Intelligence and Wisdom would KNOW just which one is the right one at the moment of need. In any case where finding the right person is concerned, one must realize that God knows each of us better than we know ourselves. What better match-maker than the infinite One?

    I'd like to repeat a point I made earlier here: The reason I go into detail on this is because I know that people often don't feel the trust for God to fill such needs, until the process is understood a bit more. There's a reason to trust God as the Source of all our needs. We don't need anything or any remedy outside of God. But God, our divine Intelligence within, will meet whatever fills the need, humanly, meaning that It will uncover or bring to us, or our attention, the material form we need now. Thus, the person we need, in the flesh, will come into our experience. (It reminds me of a story I heard about a child who was in a doctor's waiting room, attended by only a speaker on the wall. When the doctor's voice spoke through the speaker to the child, the boy said, “What do you want, Wall?” When assured by the doctor that he wasn't alone, despite not seeing a human being, the boy replied that he liked the voice, but wanted “someone with skin on.” On the subject of companionship, we, too, want someone in material form, 'with skin on.' (Their spiritual essence alone wouldn't help us much on this material sense of existence.)

    So, an important principle to learn is that Spirit, God, is all in all to us. God is divine Spirit, and the only Intelligence of the universe, which we have within the core of our being. God is our only Source of all good. Divine Intelligence has who we need, as well as what we need. Here's an illustration on how this brings the right person into our experience: an elderly woman called me to become her chauffeur in driving her to and from therapy sessions two days a week. The therapy was to go on for some time. Although I declined to become her chauffeur, I did agree to see the truth concerning her need to have a person drive her to and from her therapy sessions every week. (I was in the public practice of spiritual healing at the time.) I recognized that, for her, this was definitely a case of 'finding' the right person to be her driver.

    Starting with the realization that divine Spirit, alone, had who she needed, I proceeded to remember that the divine Intelligence and Love that fulfills our every, individual need, is also the all-knowing, all-seeing Intelligence and Wisdom, within each of us. That is, within our divine Selfhood, at one with God. The Christ Consciousness within would know the right one, out of many. I felt quite peaceful to leave it in God's hands, because I knew the way would soon be brought to my attention. Very soon, a thought came to me to call my aunt. Now, since my aunt didn't drive, I knew that she wouldn't be able to become a chauffeur either; but I obeyed this nudge that I was to call her. (This is listening to the divine Consciousness within, after we turn to it.)

    During the brief conversation, I mentioned this woman's need for a driver, and my aunt told me of a new group who did just such volunteer services for the elderly (this was some years ago, before many of these services existed). I called the woman back, giving her the phone number of the new service, and she was able to arrange for someone to drive her to and from the therapy sessions, two days a week, until they were finished, months later. This entire incident of 'finding' the right one, who was needed to drive, was accomplished in less than an hour.

    So, finding one's right companion is based upon these same principles. Our spiritual self has the qualities of omnipresence and omniscience, always seeing and knowing all, so no one is hidden to the divine Sight within, even though we, humanly, aren't in great remembrance of this true self. Still, Divine Spirit, God, is always with us, ready to meet any and all true needs; thus, Spirit has who we need, as well as who needs us.

    When seeking another person to fill our human need, one 'rule' to know is that what blesses one must bless all. The one you 'need' also needs you. The divine Intelligence matches supply and demand harmoniously. (Actually, there might be many who would be acceptable, but the exact one at the exact time in our lives is known only to the infinite Mind.) God fulfills our needs out of love and harmony, so the right one is the one that we're spiritually compatible with. (Notice that I didn't say just compatible, but spiritually compatible.) God knows our individualities better than we know ourselves; and without God's help, the ones we, ourselves, sometimes choose or want, often turn out to be quite, drastically, wrong.

    Finally, it's good to remember that harmony means complete balance. (If interested, see my article entitled, “God's Great Balance.” for a fuller view of this.) In fulfilling the needs of all, God's great balance must exist, so no one is harmed. Throughout the years, I've heard from a few people who are looking for companionship, but who have cheated and lied to those they've companioned with before. (One man I know has made a career of this.) God doesn't call our attention to anyone that we might harm out of our own selfish behavior. We must be right for others before others are right for us; otherwise, we will destroy any new relationship with our own patterns of deception and misbehavior.

    In closing this subject of finding the right companion, it's good to remember that we were never meant to be all alone in creation. Infinite life is meant to be shared with others, at least part of the time; otherwise, we'd each have our own planet. Yet, there are some who've found a more spiritual view of life and often prefer to live alone, giving them a bit more freedom and space from the human tyranny that can arise in human partnerships. These individuals know that by companioning with the Christ, their spiritual Self, they're never alone—and the whole world is full of their brothers and sisters, right outside their own front door. Whatever one's choice is, to have a partner or not have a partner, our oneness with God never leaves, nor leaves us alone. Our Christ identity, our divine link with God, stands at our mental door and knocks for entry to our conscious attention, all the time. When we answer, our human sense of separation and isolation leaves, and we're never lonely again.

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